


Please, Dear God, Shut Me Up

by lovesthatuniteus



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, You Can Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 08:07:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10532361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovesthatuniteus/pseuds/lovesthatuniteus
Summary: Jamie can't control the words that come out of his mouth, and Tyler miraculously forgives him for it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I have ever written in my whole life! I'm extremely nervous about posting, because I've never really shared my writing before. Let me know what you think!

The Dallas bar was busy but not overly crowded, and classic rock music faded to the background beneath the steady hum of voices. Tyler and Jamie sat on high stools around a small circular table near the front. Laura from the ‘You Can Play’ head office had suggested meeting here as opposed to the AAC, and once the three of them settled in they welcomed the more relaxed environment. Each of them had had a couple drinks, and they were tossing out terrible ideas for the new initiative that Laura was trying to start with the Stars. She had been meeting with the two of them more regularly over the past couple years, but each time she seemed a little more disenchanted with the strides Dallas was making towards inclusivity in it’s NHL organization. After this year’s debacle with Pride Night, she was more anxious than ever to try to get the ball rolling.

Truthfully, both Tyler and Jamie liked Laura, despite the slightly uncomfortable nature of their working relationship. Even though she spent a fair bit of time pointing out the many ways they were lacking, she managed to build rapport with them based on mutual understanding and a dry sense of humor. Laura was young, pretty, and understanding of the tough spot Tyler and Jamie were in as the faces of a franchise in the heart of a red state. At 5’ 11”, she was eye to eye with them in her heels, and she had no problem staring them down when she felt she wasn’t being taken seriously. She had worked hard for many LGBTQ organizations in her young career, and ‘You Can Play’ was particularly close to her heart. Most of the time, she made an effort to be sympathetic and made sure that the players were comfortable with every step of the promotional process. But she also had a job to do, and the longer she knew Tyler and Jamie, the more comfortable she got with being blunt about her disappointment in the Stars, as well as the NHL in general.

They had been talking around in circles for over an hour at this point. Tyler’s head was lolling on the table in front of them, clearly lacking the mental energy to continue brainstorming. Laura looked from Tyler to Jamie with a wry smile on her face. She felt their pain, but couldn’t help but take some pleasure from the dopey, blank looks on their faces. Besides, she’d had a few to drink and her focus was sliding farther away from her. Jamie looked beyond exasperated. “Laur, we already _did_ a video for ‘You Can Play,’ how is this one going to be any different?”

Tyler nodded his agreement with Jamie’s confusion while keeping his forehead pressed to the table. Laura rolled her eyes. “Well, I think we can do a little better than that don’t you think?”

Jamie shrugged his shoulders as if to suggest that he maybe agreed, but wasn’t particularly optimistic. Laura bravely continued on. “The idea is to show little gay kids that they can play hockey if they want.” She paused with a slow smile spreading across her face. They clearly weren’t in the mood to get work done either, so she might as well entertain herself. “So, I think the best way to do that would be to shoot a two-minute video of the two of you making out." 

The laugh that escaped Tyler sounded more like a bark as he lifted his head away from the table, and Jamie’s drink dribbled a bit down his chin. After catching sight of Jamie’s round eyes and spilled drink, Tyler began laughing in earnest, tipping his head back and clapping his hands. “Oh my god, Chubbs, could you _imagine_?!”

“What?! No!”

“Oh come on dude, don’t pretend like you don’t want some of this.”

Tyler leaned so far towards Jamie with a cocky smile that he nearly overturned his barstool, and Jamie had to quickly lift up his hands to shield his face from the onslaught of Tyler’s puckered lips. “Ugh, Segs! Get off me!”

Tyler was still giggling happily to himself when he regained his seat. Jamie shot him a dirty look. “You wish I was into that, man.”

Laura nodded solemnly. “It’s true. This entire thing was a careful plan orchestrated by Tyler to get you to make out with him. ‘You Can Play’ isn’t even a real initiative, and I’m just an actress. He’s paying me quite well.”

At that, Jamie finally broke into a lopsided grin, while Tyler just shrugged as if to say that the suggestion wasn’t so outrageous. Laura patted Tyler’s hand to comfort him from the sting of Jamie’s rejection. “Honestly,” she continued, “what better way to show young gay athletes that they can achieve their dreams than to show them two hot NHL stars swapping spit?”

Jamie leaned on the table with his forearms, shaking his head but still smiling. Tyler, on the other hand, leaned towards Laura with a positively evil look in his eye. “So, you admit you think we’re hot?”

To her credit, Laura didn’t even bat an eye. “I think _you_ think you’re hot Tyler, and isn’t that what counts?”

Once Jamie finished laughing at the faux-wounded look on Tyler’s face he made an attempt to get back down to business. “Ok, ok, seriously Laura. What do they want us to do?”

Laura was looking entirely too pleased with herself. “Well luckily for you both, my supervisors weren’t down with the soft core porn.”

“But they’re ok with the hard core stuff, right?”

Clearly Tyler was having too much fun to actually get any work done. He smirked happily to himself as Jamie rolled his eyes. Lucky for him, Laura was more than on board to play along. “Oh yeah, absolutely. Once you two figure out the mechanics, I can get a film crew in here in under and hour and we’re good to go.”

As Tyler cackled, Jamie’s eyebrows raised up towards his hairline. “The mechanics?”

The question in his voice was clear, but Jamie’s face looked more worried than confused. Tyler stopped laughing to give Jamie a look of mild disbelief. Laura’s smile took on a villainous edge. “Aw Jamie, did no one ever give you ‘the gay porn talk’?”

Tyler could barely contain his glee as he watched Jamie shift around uncomfortably and adjust his shirtsleeves. Laura leaned in conspiratorially, but made sure her voice carried loud enough for Tyler to hear. “Well, when two boys love each other very much,” she paused for dramatic effect with a solemn look on her face, “one of them fucks the other in the ass.”

Tyler positively roared as Jamie choked on air and turned beet red. Laura, satisfied, gracefully rose from her stool. “I’m going to grab a refill while you two mull that over. But make sure you’ve settled on who is doing who, or things could get really awkward once we start shooting.”

As she made her way over to the bar, she could have sworn she felt the sudden rush of silence settling over the two friends as they made uncomfortable eye contact behind her back. Once she returned to her seat, Laura looked at both men in turn. The lighthearted air of sarcasm and teasing had disappeared and left behind an atmosphere of unease. Jamie had his arms crossed protectively over his chest, and was glaring down into his glass as though it had recently insulted his mother. Tyler was decidedly not looking at Jamie, scrolling through his phone with a look of measured concentration. Laura saw an opportunity to stir up trouble that she couldn’t pass up. “So, let me guess. Now you’re in a fight because you both think you’d top.”

Both pairs of eyes snapped on her in attention. A flush rose in Jamie’s face as Tyler’s eyes widened and his mouth hung slightly open. “Well, no, I mean…”

Tyler was trying hard to gain his conversational footing, but his frantic eyes did little to suggest that he was in control of what his mouth was saying. Instead, Jamie interjected with even more color blooming in his face. “Well I mean it’s not like we were talking about it or anything, but I mean…come on!”

He suddenly erupted with sweat gathering at his temples. His cheeks were so red that they looked almost purple. “It would only make sense! I’m bigger!”

Tyler’s eyes widened more than Laura thought possible. “Oh yeah, by like _one_ inch!”

“More than one inch where it counts!”

Tyler’s sharp intake of breath was only exaggerated by Jamie’s abrupt silence. Laura delicately removed the hand that was pressed tightly over her mouth to contain both her shock and laughter. “Well, isn’t that a fun visual.”

Jamie looked stricken while Tyler pointedly turned his eyes away from him. Laura was sure that the two wouldn’t stay mad for long, but it was probably time to guide the conversation back on track. Besides, Laura had already had plenty of fun. Her good mood was only slightly dampened by Tyler’s kicked-puppy look and Jamie’s apparent desire to melt into a puddle under the table. “Alright, enough teasing, you two. We really do have work to do.”

With minimal articulation from Jamie, and some sulking from Tyler, they were able to cobble together a rough plan for a video that would actually breath some life into the Stars’ ‘You Can Play’ contributions. Satisfied, Laura rose from her seat and gave each man a peck on the cheek, decidedly ignoring the tension she had created. “Thanks for doing this boys, I’ll be in touch.”

They grumbled their goodbyes without looking at each other until she was a safe distance away from the table. Eventually, Tyler looked up at Jamie with a sour expression. “You’re such a dick sometimes Chubbs.”

“I swear I didn’t mean to say that, Tyler, I’m sorry.”

“Whatever, man.”

Jamie groaned and rested his head in his hands, elbows propped up on the sticky table. He so wasn’t in the mood to be having this conversation in a crowded bar. But he knew Tyler would be snarky with him until he properly apologized, and all he wanted to do was put this behind them. “Dude, I know you have a thing for Laura. I shouldn’t have said that in front of her.”

Good-natured chirping about that kind of stuff was generally fair game. Like when Tyler’s ESPN body issue came out, Jamie teased him that he thought the bright yellow rubber duck he held over his junk in one of the shots was bigger than necessary. He’d even said it on TV for a TSN interview. But saying something like that in front of a girl was a dick move. Jamie honestly hadn’t even meant for it to slip out, but the conversation had already taken such an embarrassing turn and he said it before he even realized. Jamie’s been known to lose control of his filter when he’s flustered, and this conversation definitely threw him for a loop. Thankfully, it seemed like Tyler was in a forgiving mood. “It’s fine man, no big deal.”

Tyler shrugged and made to stand up from his stool, but his face still looked kind of closed down. Jamie wanted to test the waters. “Want to come over and hang out a bit?”

Jamie figured his peace offering would give him a good indication of just how mad Tyler was. “Sure,” Tyler shrugged again.

They got in the car and headed back in the direction of Jamie’s house when Tyler remembered he wanted to let the dogs out. Instead, they changed directions and both went back to Tyler’s place, letting Marshall and Cash slobber all over them when they got to the door. Tyler was still in a quiet mood when they were sitting on his couch flipping through the channels trying to find something half-decent to watch. Jamie brought over a couple beers and flopped down next to him, trying to assess the best way to make things right. Tyler took the offered beer without a word and continued staring at the TV. “Seggy?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you still mad about before?”

“Nah, man. I’m not mad.”

“Ok. Good.”

Jamie was the absolute worst at this. He could tell something was still bothering Tyler, but if he didn’t want to talk about it, Jamie had no way of getting it out of him. Jamie was definitely a mediocre conversationalist under the best of circumstances. But the weird awkward fumbling usually went away when it was just Tyler. Not the case this time apparently. They sat in silence for a while, and Jamie stewed until the awkwardness of the situation seemed to reach its breaking point. “Jeez, what an awkward conversation, eh?”

Tyler chuckled half-heartedly. Whether he was agreeing with Jamie or laughing at him for being such a bumbling idiot was unclear. But he did seem to loosen up a bit. “Yeah, Laura’s funny, I guess. But that’s definitely not where I expected our brainstorming session to go.”

They both laughed a bit this time, and smiled at each other. “That’s for sure.” Jamie paused for consideration. “It’s weird though, she did seem kinda into it.”

“I know, right? What the fuck?”

“Like I know she was joking, but for some reason she seemed like she really did want us to…ya know…”

“Yeah…I dunno. Girls, man.”

Tyler shrugged as if there wasn’t much more to say on the subject, and Jamie smiled and nodded, feeling happy that they seemed to be returning to normal. “I guess it really would help gay kids though.”

“That’s definitely true,” Tyler giggled. “They’d watch that shit more than they’d watch hockey.”

At this point they were both sliding into hysterics, laughing at the thought of making such a video, without taking their eyes off the TV screen. Jamie tried not to think too hard about the tight, warm feeling in his stomach that grew as he laughed at the mental image of him and Tyler sucking face on camera. Once they’d calmed down a bit, Jamie ventured into slightly less familiar territory. “Hey, do you think there are, like, guys in the league who are…you know?”

“Yeah, I mean, there’s gotta be.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re probably right.”

The silence stretched between them longer this time. Jamie seemed to be unable to let it last too long however. “I mean, obviously, I wouldn’t have a problem—”

“Oh, yeah of course not!”

“Yeah, like everyone’s different.”

“Yeah, exactly…”

At this point, Jamie let his eyes drift from the TV to Tyler’s face. Tyler wasn’t looking at him, but his face looked drawn tight. Jamie swallowed hard before speaking. “Um, you know Segs, what I said before at the bar? It’s not like, you know I haven’t been…like I didn’t mean it like I’ve been looking or anything, right?”

There was a weighted pause. Then Tyler nodded his head so minutely that it was almost imperceptible. He still wasn’t looking at Jamie. For some reason, the lack of eye contact made Jamie feel a little frantic. He had absolutely no grasp on what was going on in Tyler’s head. “Like, I know it sounded like I’ve been looking in the locker room, and like, comparing? But I obviously haven’t, and like I don’t even know if what I said is true? Because I definitely haven’t been looking?”

He was talking so fast that everything he said came out sounding like a question. At this point, Tyler finally turned his gaze and looked at Jamie. The sweat gathering at Jamie’s hairline accentuated the pinkness of his cheeks and the panic in his eyes. Now that Tyler was actually looking directly at him, Jamie was having trouble holding his gaze. He instead glanced down at Tyler’s feet. “I just meant to chirp you.”

Jamie’s voice had lowered to a near whisper, and Tyler let out a deep sigh. “Yeah, I know. Of course. Don’t worry about it, man.”

Jamie finally raised his eyes up to meet Tyler’s. The earnest look on Tyler’s face made him feel relieved at first, but he became quickly self-conscious of his panicky outburst. He still wasn’t sure what Tyler was thinking. But for the first time since his initial comment at the bar, Tyler seemed to have dropped the hurt look on his face and was staring at Jamie with a curious expression. “I mean, if it makes you feel better man, I think you’re right.”

At first Jamie wasn’t sure if he had imagined what Tyler said. But he had been looking at him the whole time and had clearly seen his mouth form those words. “I—what?” He stuttered helplessly.

Tyler looked a bit sheepish, but a small grin was toying at his lips. “I mean, it’s kind of hard not to look _at all_ , you know?”

Jamie was frozen for a solid few minutes with his eyes wide before he realized he should respond. He nodded a bit without losing the shocked, almost fearful expression on his face. Tyler just shrugged and his smile widened. “So yeah, I mean you probably do have a couple inches on me.”

If it were humanly possible Jamie would have swallowed his whole tongue. He couldn’t believe a great many things about the conversation he was currently having. First, he was intensely aware that he was sitting on Tyler’s couch in his media room discussing the relative size of their dicks. Second, Tyler seemed more or less comfortable admitting that he’d given this topic some thought before. The confession made Jamie’s internal organs flip in a way that wasn’t entirely unpleasant. Coupled with the fact that this entire conversation had been brought up in the context of the two of them shooting promotional porn together, Jamie was having a hard time gathering his racing thoughts in a coherent way. Taking in his wide-eyed expression, Tyler chuckled a bit. “C’mon man. It’s kinda hard not to notice. Don’t make it weird.”

At that, Jamie snapped out of his shocked state a bit. He took a closer look at Tyler’s face. Beneath the cocky smirk, there was a hint of vulnerability and tenseness, like he was bracing himself for Jamie to be freaked out by his admission. Almost automatically, Jamie wanted to put those worries to rest. “Oh, yeah no, man. It’s not weird, we’re in the locker room all the time.”

Jamie bobbed his head for emphasis and noticed Tyler’s shoulders drop a little in relief. Jamie wasn’t really sure what to do with any part of his body, but he was feeling particularly in tune with the space Tyler was taking up. Jamie felt a small grin form on his own face as he sustained eye contact with his friend. He wanted to do everything he could to convey to Tyler that he didn’t have to put up a front or worry about Jamie being uncomfortable. Jamie hoped that despite the awkward, detached feeling he had from his body, he was demonstrating his support well. Tyler broke into a genuine grin at his friend’s acceptance, and absentmindedly patted Jamie on his thigh by way of thanks. At the sudden contact, Jamie tensed and looked down at Tyler’s hand, which froze on Jamie’s upper thigh. “Uh…”

All this talk about sex and dicks and size was really fucking with Jamie’s head. What would normally be just a friendly pat on the leg suddenly sent a jolt through his whole body, making him hyperaware of how close he and Tyler were sitting on the couch. Neither of them moved, and for a moment, it felt like neither of them breathed. “Jamie?”

Tyler’s voice sounded small, almost like he was trying to talk to Jamie from far away, underwater. In reality, his torso was slowly turning so the two of them were nearly pressed up against each other along their entire sides. Tyler’s hand still rested on Jamie’s thigh. After taking this all in, Jamie realized he hadn’t responded and was still looking at Tyler’s hand. He trailed his eyes slowly upwards to land on Tyler’s face. “Yeah, Ty?”

It happened in an instant, a moment’s hesitation when they held eye contact but neither of them moved. But then suddenly Tyler’s grip tightened on Jamie’s leg and he surged forward, meeting Jamie’s lips in an insistent press. Before Jamie really had time to process what was happening, Tyler pulled back an inch from his face and gazed at him with an expression of shock. “Jamie, shit man, I’m—”

Jamie reached his arm over Tyler’s shoulder and pulled him back in by the back of his neck. The atmosphere of the room had completely shifted, going from fragile discomfort to warmth and a desire for closeness. Jamie’s mind reeled with the new information, and he couldn’t really believe how quickly he had gone from worrying that Tyler hated him, to imagining all of the ways he wanted to touch him. With soft, tentative kisses to his lips, Jamie tested the waters to see how Tyler would react. When he got a small hum of happiness in response, Jamie pulled harder so Tyler was seated almost completely on his lap, chest to chest. At that, Tyler pulled back and laughed a bit, smiling brightly at Jamie’s bashful expression. “Huh.”

Jamie blinked. “What?”

“This is not how I expected this would happen.”

Jamie was floored. “You thought about this happening?”

Tyler tipped his head back and laughed. The smile he gave Jamie was full of affection. “Maybe once or twice. But definitely not as many times as I looked at you in the locker room.”

His wink was pure teasing, but that didn’t stop Jamie from fake gasping and squeezing Tyler’s hips in retaliation. This was the kind of communication Jamie was good at. His happiness at their return to bantering was overflowing in his voice. “Tyler Seguin. That is totally inappropriate.”

Tyler’s smirk grew. He wiggled around on Jamie’s lap and tried his best to look apologetic. “Sorry, Captain.”

A groan escaped from Jamie’s throat at both the title and Tyler’s writhing on his lap. He powered through the minor pang of embarrassment, and instead looked Tyler in the eye. Jamie could handle this shift in dynamics. But the abruptness did leave him full of questions. “Wait, so if you weren’t mad at me for chirping you in front of Laura, why did you get all weird back at the bar?”

Maybe having a lapful of your best friend and liney who just kissed you for the first time wasn’t a great moment to be having this conversation, but Jamie Benn was never great at controlling his mouth in the best of circumstances. Lucky for him, Tyler just looked at him with a shy smile. “I thought it was obvious. I was upset because I thought you meant, you know, that you didn’t think I was— that you wouldn’t want to—”

“Oh.”

Realization dawned on Jamie, and he felt like the world’s biggest idiot. Of course, it seemed like a throwaway comment at the time, but insulting a guy’s dick size was a pretty good indication that he wasn’t interested. Jamie of course hadn’t meant it that way, and had honestly been too distracted by arguing the validity of him fucking Tyler, and the mental image provided, to consider what he was saying. Leave it to him to put Tyler down in the rudest way possible without even meaning to. “Segs, man, I definitely didn’t mean it like that at all. The whole thing was so confusing, and I said it without thinking.”

“I know you didn’t—”

“No, I’m serious Tyler, I don’t want you thinking I’m not into you like that. Because, like, have you seen you man? How could I not be into you? Like, what?”

At the pained look on Jamie’s face, Tyler took pity on him and smiled. “You’re lucky you’re cute Bennie, because you’re such an idiot sometimes.”

“I know, I am, world’s biggest idiot.” Jamie nodded his head vigorously, agreeing wholeheartedly.

Tyler laughed and shook his head a bit. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Hopefully more of this?”

He squeezed again at Tyler’s hips. Jamie’s shy smile belied his nerves that Tyler wasn’t on the same page. Thankfully, Tyler silenced those doubts immediately by leaning in to kiss him again while simultaneously grinding down on his lap. At the answering groan, Tyler giggled. “Yeah ok, I think I can manage that.”

Jamie hummed his happiness in response. But before he could pull Tyler back in for more, Tyler stopped him with a hand on his chest and an evil glint in his eye. “But if you ever insult my dick size again, you’re a dead man, Jamie Benn.”

Jamie’s guffaw jostled Tyler and resulted in the both of them collapsing in a giggling pile. Once they finally got control over themselves, Jamie wound his arms tighter around Tyler’s torso. With Tyler pressed snugly to his chest, Jamie pressed a firm kiss to his sweaty hairline. “I wouldn’t dream of it Seggy.” He paused to lower his voice a fraction. “But I stand by my comments about the duck.”

The resulting tickle fight lasted until they were both completely breathless.

**Author's Note:**

> Again, I just want to emphasize that this is my first crack at this, so sorry if it's a little rough. And I super made up the role that a person from You Can Play would have interacting with individual players, but I had this idea in my head and I just couldn't get rid of it. Thanks for reading!


End file.
